Cooking, baking and sport lover
– but am I?
“I am big fan of eating, cooking and baking. My latest achieve is baked yeast croissants.
Where I was at the Beginning
In 2015, I went to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling well. I got pills to treat PCOS - Polycystic ovary syndrome and insulin resistance, which meant I was probably going to develop diabetes. The doctor informed me that it would be a good idea to start participating in sports and changing my diet to that of a low-calorie diet. As so began my journey of counting calories and becoming more active.
I immersed myself in the world of sport and fell in love with it in its entirely. I got a Multisport card and I started running on the treadmill in two sweatshirts and a hoodie on my head in the corner of the gym so that no one could see me.
Day after day, I took my pills, and I began to shed the pounds. My diet was extremely restrictive, I could only eat 1450 calories a day. I cut down all my sugar intake and I limited my fat intake to virtually zero. I seemed to be doing quite all right. But it wasn’t all right.
As a was focusing on weight loss, I found out that I had cancer. It wasn’t malignant, which made me push myself to run and exercise to the limits. My only cheat food was pizza occasionally, but I kept counting my calories and kept my count at 1450 calories a day. Finally, the day of my surgery came to pass.
The surgery was successful, and I was alive! I was discharged from the hospital about a week after the operation. According to the doctors, everything was fine but not for long. My kidneys began to shut down. It turned out my eating habits and my extreme exercise regime had caused this. I ended up back in the hospital, but made it out alive once again. I realised I would have to be more reasonable with my diet and exercise routine.
Where I am Today and Where the World is Right Now
Everyone the world over needs a balanced diet and exercise. But then came the pandemic, and it seemed many of us gained extra weight, and others fell directly into obesity. The best example is myself.
In March 2020 I started work from home and have been working from home since then. My weight (68 kilos) was healthy. I took my pills, I had my sports routine which included weightlifting, riding a bicycle, and running and swimming. And I was still counting calories. Now I was eating 1750 calories a day. But the pandemic through my world of routines and calorie counting into disarray.
As the pandemics grew and grew in each corner of the globe, gyms were shut down and I started ordering food online – both take-out and grocery shopping. It only took a few months for me to get to 75 kilograms. Along with the extra pounds, came depression. I quickly realised I needed to do something to get better and get back to normal. So I did what many people did – I adapted.
I started to do sports at home: warming up - jumping rope for 10-15 minutes, deadlift sumo with resistance bands, 3-4 series per 8-10 reps, OHP - overhead press with resistance bands 3 series per 10-15 reps, rowing with resistance rubbers 3 series per 10-15 reps, three exercises for the abs. I also did some exercises for the upper parts with dumbbells. Even with all this, it wasn’t satisfying me. I was working out all the time, but I was also eating much more than before. I craved comfort food.
Everyone the world over needs a balanced diet and exercise. But then came the pandemic, and it seemed many of us gained extra weight, and others fell directly into obesity. The best example is myself.
In March 2020 I started work from home and have been working from home since then. My weight (68 kilos) was healthy. I took my pills, I had my sports routine which included weightlifting, riding a bicycle, and running and swimming. And I was still counting calories. Now I was eating 1750 calories a day. But the pandemic through my world of routines and calorie counting into disarray.
As the pandemics grew and grew in each corner of the globe, gyms were shut down and I started ordering food online – both take-out and grocery shopping. It only took a few months for me to get to 75 kilograms. Along with the extra pounds, came depression. I quickly realised I needed to do something to get better and get back to normal. So I did what many people did – I adapted.
I started to do sports at home: warming up - jumping rope for 10-15 minutes, deadlift sumo with resistance bands, 3-4 series per 8-10 reps, OHP - overhead press with resistance bands 3 series per 10-15 reps, rowing with resistance rubbers 3 series per 10-15 reps, three exercises for the abs. I also did some exercises for the upper parts with dumbbells. Even with all this, it wasn’t satisfying me. I was working out all the time, but I was also eating much more than before. I craved comfort food.
I ate to make myself better, I became addicted to eating and to food, even if I wasn’t hungry. I ate my feelings. I ate when I felt worried, happy, or stressed. And of course, I ate when I saw the mouth-watering cooking shows I binged on during the lockdown. Along with the stress-eating came a realisation that I had struggled with sport bulimia. It came when I watched a Netflix series called “To the Bone” link to trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=705yRfs6Dbs
I found myself accepting my journey and began drawing on it. Ultimately, I know that health is not only what the scale says or what the mirror shows you, but also how you feel about yourself on the inside. Eating disorders are also quite a touchy subject. There are those who will feel uncomfortable or even feel resentment towards me sharing my story. I accept this too.
So, what does this all mean?
I can’t say that I do not struggle, because I do. However, I also now understand what self-love and self-care is about.
I have also learned that having a professional watch over my journey to be healthy is imperative. Today I am 168 cm 71,1 kilos, still counting calories, and my target is 1650 calories a day. I also give myself a break sometimes. I love eating food, and watching it being cooked, and cooking it to. For me this article was ultimately a way to explore my own struggles – a cathartic, release and therapy.1. What you feel after reading this article – what it makes to you?
2. Have you ever heard about sport bulimia - what you think about it?
3. Do you think that people can be addicted to do sports - it may cost?
4. Body positive – what do you think – about actual definition of it?
Add something from yourself – I’ll be glad to hear your point of view, your possible experience.
Wish you all the best,
Kinga
Bibliography:
• https://www.pexels.com/photo/happy-asian-woman-in-underwear-sitting-in-studio-5317725/• https://www.pexels.com/photo/love-art-heart-sign-5842238/
• https://www.pexels.com/photo/silver-and-gold-padlock-on-white-table-5842230/
• https://www.pexels.com/photo/internet-connection-technology-business-5842226/
• https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-and-black-i-love-you-print-sticky-note-5842233/
• https://www.pexels.com/photo/silver-and-gold-padlock-on-pink-surface-5842235/
• https://www.pexels.com/photo/asian-models-with-different-body-types-in-studio-5317733/
• https://occ-0-1009-1007.1.nflxso.net/dnm/api/v6/0DW6CdE4gYtYx8iy3aj8gs9WtXE/AAAABSlcUGFjRwsqGG863l6AnWvPL6UTxOIXa8D1oa4Cq6SNyRZ4tK8O2X0q2YdImMmqfoL0eji1ntx8xxL7Jpk0xYchEzrqeyFYUfmG0TaQYkjP5P48ciIiN9WegxMfkg.jpg?r=07c
• https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/bulimia/bulimia-in-athletes
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=705yRfs6Dbs)
1. Amazing story! Your story is awesome and such a great change in your life. You are an amazing person who has suffered a lot in life and still you didn't give up. My health problems started in 2008 and I have been struggling since this days as well. Thankfully, I'm back to my weight now and am a normal sized person (I used to be very skinny because of my disease). Today I feel just like you, I sit around and do nothing, even though I go to work every day, only sometimes I have the opportunity to work from home. Unfortunately, closed gyms and sports facilities contribute a lot to obesity.
ReplyDelete2. Unfortunately I had never heard of sports bulimia, but I just read an additional article that explained it to me. I had no idea it was a disease too! Just like every disease it has an underlying cause, it is definitely a dangerous disease that leads to emaciation of the human body, it is surely very invasive and can lead to death. However, during practicing sports we should also pay attention to ourselves.
3. Just as your story showed - sports addiction is possible! You definitely need to watch out for yourself and not become obsessed. I have also read other people's stories and definitely it is a disease that affects a large percentage of the population. Now I will start to wonder if the person running in the evening on my estate is an addict?
4. Unfortunately I don't know what it's all about, but I think it's about living in harmony with yourself and your body.
What can I say ... You gave me a lot to think about. The most important day of my life is coming up soon so I would like to feel good about it. Unfortunately, for the last six months I gained 4 kg and I definitely have to change my way of living. I should reduce the amount of food I eat, count calories and start exercising at home. I hope I can reach my goal in 4 months. Wish me luck!
Małgorzata I think it's beautiful, thank you also for sharing your story! I know how much that means to you. I really wanted the article to learn from my mistakes and also give us space for discussion and sharing observations. Remember to hug and give a lot of love to yourself. I wish you all the best!
DeleteReading this article made me feel very emotional. I respect your courage to reveal so much personal details and share your story. I'm really amazed how strong and conscious you are - keep it up! I find this article very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteUntil now I didn't know that sport bulimia exists. I've only heard of regular bulimia and it's truly horible. I guess if sport bulimia is a condition it must be dangerous aswell. It's hard to imagine how the obsesstion about healthy lifestyle can actually make you more ill. Struggling with food disorders can take many forms and also everything in excess can be bad even such good habit like sport routine. Your story reminded me how important is to take good care of yourself and listen to my body. I have never really struggled with food disorders so I can't really imagine what it's like to constantly obsess about calories and fat. I believe weight and shape of the body isn't that important. Our bodies have so many functions that need to be supported that we can't just focus on how they look like. Therefore I'm glad there is such movement like body positivity because through the generation we were brain washed that we need to like woman from magazine covers and forgotten that our bodies are amazing machines that support life functions and need to be well taken care of. I wish you the very best, covid lifestyle was hard for all of us, but it will pass and few kilos aren't such a bad thing. Especially that it looks like you are in a great shape so you'll probably get back to your pre - lockdown form.
Thank you for your comment, it's amazing how much empathy and curiosity people have. I also wish you all the best!
DeleteI find this arcitle very emotion. The fact that you faced so many obstacles is astonishing. It is not an easy story, but I love the way it shows real human power. It simply amazed me how you can push your limits again and again no matter what.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I haven't heard of sport bulimia. I am familiar with bulimia overall but that is just all. I feel now I will read about sport bulimia to better understand your article.
It is clear to me that people can be addicted to sports. I know a lot of people who seem sick or depressed unless they do sports.
I like this body positive idea. It is important to be afraid that no one at all is perfect. What is more, having knowledge about our weaknesses and overpowering them only make us better. :)
Thank you for hearing so many kind words from you! I wish we didn't have to call the human approach of the world.
DeleteIn my opinion, this story was at the same time sad, real, and motivating. Six years ago I weighed 100kg witch 186cm in height. Then I read every possible article about a good diet and sport, not eating too little because it causes with slow metabolism and opposite effect to the desired one and about solid true workout based on squats, bench presses, deadlifts, pullups, etc. In about two years I've reduced my weight to 76kg and repaired the balance between fat and muscles, then I've started adding calories to gain muscles and I stopped doing this at 82kg. when my body adapted to workout and my metabolism was great I stopped counting calories and focused on eating when I'm hungry, and that's all. My weight right now is still 82kg and I'm eating basically everything. I think that the first 2 years of hard work led us to a moment when we can do and eat what we want but we have to workout in many different ways like gym, tennis, squash, running, etc. to keep it possible.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard about sport bulimia but I'll expand my knowledge about it for sure.
Of course, people can be addicted to the sport. I am and a lot of my friends are too. Hard training causes a high level of endorphins which makes us happy. It can be dangerous when we pushing organisms to the limits.
I think that body positivity is great and very important but not more important than being healthy. We don't have to look like Instagram models but we have to be healthy and not obese.
Piotr I am very grateful that you have said about your experience. A lot of wisdom comes from your speech, if I was aware of it a few years ago, maybe I would be in a moment like you :)
Delete1. To be honest this article made me feel uncomfortable. I think that this kind of texts need a "trigger warning" sign as it can be such a hard topic for one of us too and we have no idea who else is struggling with similar issues. I’m not sure if this course is a good place to share such a story and write about “touchy” subjects as you said, considering that everyone is obliged to comment on it and answer the questions.
ReplyDelete2. Yes, I've heard about it. It's a disorder.
3. Yes, people can be addicted to literally anything, to sport as well.
4. I know it's a very popular movement focused on loving your body but I think that people should make their own definition of this term, related to their experience and attitude.
I wish you all the best 😊
Łukasz thank you very much for your reply, I understand therefore very sorry for offending you by this article.
DeleteI've never heard this term before, but I've been involved in sports since early childhood.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that it's possible as I'm that type. I have done gym for several years and for me it's not just a hobby or a duty, it's my passion, my lifestyle. I've never set myself some kind of a definite, one-time goal, like pumping up or losing weight for the summer period, etc. I feel free in the gym for 1.5 hours, I disconnect my mind from all worries and problems and focus only on my goals and the training process.
I have very radical views on this topic, since many people hide their laziness behind this term, not counting those who have it associated with various diseases.
My experience is simple, the more problems I had in different spheres like my personal life or at work, etc., the more I laid out on training and squeezed out the last strength, which subsequently gave a visible physical result. And vice versa, when I am doing well, I put less effort into training, I am not so angry and subsequently the results are always less. The gym is the only place where I can release all my anger and rage and turn weakness into strength.
Big yes, honestly, when I read your comment, it's like I heard my thoughts :)
Delete1. What you feel after reading this article – what it makes to you?
ReplyDeleteI think it took a lot of courage to describe the story. Good for you!
Congratulations also for your fight. It seems not be easy. You wrote that you understand what self-love and self-care is. It's very important nowadays, especially when we are surrounded by an idealised world in social media.
2. Have you ever heard about sport bulimia - what you think about it?
To be honest I've never heard about that. I need to read something more about this.
3. Do you think that people can be addicted to do sports - it may cost?
It's obvious that sport can be addictive. When we do sports our body produces endorphins which make us feel better. I believe that practicing sports regularly has only advantages, but it can be dangerous when we overstrain our bodies and do not give them time to recover.
4. Body positive – what do you think – about actual definition of it?
I believe that the body positive idea is very importnant in today's world. We shouldn't judge others by their appearance. It's also crucial to feel good in your body. Nevertheless, we shouldn't promote either too thin figures or obesity - the most important is staying healthy.
First of all, thank you very much for your understanding!
DeleteThank you for the kind words :) As for your statement on the body-positive (without calling it body-positve - it should be obvious, but people have to name it and give a definition for something to come into existence) and the gym topics, I fully agree! :)
At the age of 13, I started to lose weight very intensively and I dropped to 44 kg (155 cm height). I ate one low-calorie meal a day, consumed large amounts of water and tried to move as much as possible. This obviously caused me a lot of health problems, but it took some time and confidence to get back to what I can call the healthy norm.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of sports bulimia, but in the female environment of my friends I have encountered the problem of nutritional bulimia. I think you can get addicted to anything.
I was interested in the body positive movement and I believe that the most important aspect of this is to encourage people struggling with obesity to move and change their eating habits. What you wrote about the gym and other places for sports is also a big problem. Unfortunately, obese people meet there with intensified gazes from others, which are unpleasant and intimidating.
As a teenager, my approach to weight was very simple. You want to lose weight - don't eat, drink water, exercise. Now, however, I believe that the topic is much more complex - just like our entire body.
Recently, I was also interested in detox and I encourage you to read a few articles on this topic.
I've heard a bit about detox too, but so far only in theory. I had no motivation to start. I think that in our environment, full of pollution and all s**t we eat, such detox could be a good thing!
DeleteZuza thank you so much for sharing your story. And I am very glad that you managed to achieve balance with your hard work.
DeleteI fully agree that this content should be promoted in a friendly and reasonable way.
As for detoxication, I will consult with a doctor, I do not undertake anything in this scope myself.
I think that the most important rule of detox is to choose the days when we can rest. Too much work or effort combined with detox will always end in headaches, weakness or a decline in immunity and illness.
DeleteI've never heard about the sport of bulimia. It must be a terrible disease.
ReplyDeletePeople get addicted to anything that makes them feel good - so also sports.
It is commonly known that any addiction is bad, but probably is better to be addicted to sport than to cigarettes? :)
When it comes to body positive - it's good that people can feel happy thanks to it. :)
It's true that cigarettes are not the best solution for stress;)
Delete
ReplyDelete1.What you feel after reading this article – what it makes to you?
I refuse to answer - I don't want to be expelled from course
2.Have you ever heard about sport bulimia - what you think about it?
No I didn't heard about term.
3.Do you think that people can be addicted to do sports - it may cost?
Yes, and they are called professional athletes, and they do it because they want to improve their results, where even small improvement (by centimeter, by second etc.) matters. And with what cost ? Everything.
How I know? Because I have trained Athletics for 10 years.
I have sacrificed everything - free time, friendships and finally health when my knee snapped.
4.Body positive – what do you think – about actual definition of it?
I think that's insane that we need to create terms/definitions to get around others definitions, only so we can get acceptance of other people.
We would not talk about "Body positive" if there wasn't "Definition of beauty" or other similar terms (which was and is changing all the time).
After reading your statement, I conclude that I offended you with this question, so I am very, very sorry.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear your story. I know this moment in live. I was lucky enough to find joy elsewhere. I wish you the same. And also I agree with that, defining narrows our expression of emotions.
It seems to me that often eating problems start in the teenage years. Our hormones are buzzing and the body is changing. This is most often when we stop accepting ourselves because all of our peers start comparing themselves to each other. Most of us have gone down the road of self-acceptance. Some continue to struggle with it. Fortunately, these days there is an emphasis on the fact that everyone is different and beautiful. Because that's how it is, too, in my opinion. What matters is what we represent on the inside :)
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of sports bulimia, but I think it's very possible. Knowing this definition, I know a couple of people who have/had it too.
It's true hormones are important and unfortunately sometimes they are not a good advisor at all. I am glad that you also value inner beauty and differences between people :) - I think so too!
DeleteI know you privately, so I was not shocked by read your article, but I am impressed that you want to bring up a fairly private topic with everyone from here. But if you need therapy I think talking therapy is for anyone who's going through a bad time or has emotional problems they need help with.For many adults it may be the same or more effective than medication.
ReplyDeleteThe same as you in March 2020 I started work from home and have been working from home since then, but the same like before this all pandemic I care about myself and my head. When gym stop working, I started workout at home. You need to find another way. You cannot stop doing things because world stopped, you have to adapt to it. Like my boyfriend said „what consumes your mind controls your life”.
Also yes, I think people can be addicted to do sports, because I am. I feel better after every workout physically and mentally. I also bought a cross trainer to do more cardio at home, because now everything is closed and my only road is from home to Biedronka and back home, I was needed to do something more for my body. So maybe this will be a good inspiration for you, i hope so. :)
Yes, it's true that therapy is a great idea, it shouldn't be a taboo subject never - I attend it and recommend it to everyone! It helps to organize your thoughts and motivate you to work on yourself :)
DeleteA very good idea with an elliptical cross trainer during the winter, I was thinking of buying a home-bicycle to be able to ride at home.
Live knowing that you have some of the worst diseases must be hard. But you won it. You must be a really strong woman!
ReplyDeleteI’ve never been overweight. But even if I wanted to be overweight, for me it would be a hard challenge. I can eat anything I want, a lot of burgers, pizza, white chocolate, bread, and other crazy stuff, but my weight is still lower than must be with my height. Today I am 70 kilos 183 cm.
A few years ago in my life was just bodybuilding. I worked out all my free time. But now, glancing back at the time I must say that I lost at least two years of my life. My maximum weight was 93 kilo without fat. But all that worried me was just my muscles and meal. It sounds really stupid, but there it is. All the films that I watched were about bodybuilding, all my conversations were about bodybuilding, all that I read were about bodybuilding. One day I understood that I am look like these men in all gyms in the world which just looking in the mirror. It's not worth it! You must worry about your body but just to feel better. All other stereotypes do not matter.
So, as you understand I think that bodypositive isn`t bad. The main thing is to be a good person.
1) In my youth, I struggled with my weight for a long time. It was a source of raw material for me and I think it reflected on my relations with the opposite sex. I think that many people in their youth have a problem with overweight.
ReplyDelete2) I've never come across the term sports bulimia before. Now, however, I can see that it can be a big problem, I think that people whose way of coping with maintaining their dream figure is mostly sport, can have a pbore with it
3)
I know a lot of people who are addicted to sports. For me personally, it is a very good and healthy addiction. It is known that everything has to be done wisely and in the event of an injury or a worse day after the proust. But in the long run, taking care of yourself, doing regular examinations, healing injuries is not only a great hobby, but a delicious recipe for life.
4)
I think that through advertising and watching athletes in action, we have reached the point where the media shows the athlete's figure as the only correct figure of a human being. This appearance takes most of the time of the day, a lot of effort, sweat and tears. The direction of body positive in my opinion is to unmask this illusion. People look less fit on a daily basis, and it should be fine.