Monday 19 May 2014

Week 6: Personal life vs Career


Most people can divide their lives into two parts. One part is persons private live, realtions with fammily and friends, second part is persons career. Both parts are related to one another, should we draw a line between them or integrate them?

Unfortunetely for all hard working people, the simple answer doesn't exist. Fortunetely there are principles created, based on other peoples' experience. One of those person is Kenneth W. Freeman, Dean of Boston University School of Management. He created useful tips which in my opinion every one should get familiar with.

Be realistic about your work. - We should aim for the realistic goals which we can achieve without working around the clock making our private lives misrable.

Don’t expect perfection in personal life. -  Personal matters differs from our business tasks. Forcing yourself and family members to aim for perfection in family life, will not work and be destructive.

Change the metaphor. - Try to integrate work and personal life as opose to sepatate them.
For example you can integrate your private calendar with your work calendar so that all commitments are inviolable. This principle differs from what we all have heard for years, to draw a line between those two parts of our lifes.

Be present. - While you are spednig time with the famili, you have to be fully present with your body and mind. On the other hand you can't treat this time as a business meeting. This is the most difficult part for me, as technology got mobile.

Don't forget yourself. - Don't ignore health realated activities like workout, relaxing, sleep etc. It happends very often that we ingore those important areas.

As it comes to me I'm still looking for the best solution, which will make my "both lifes" easier. I would like to know your opinion on this topic. Do you have some other tips?


Source:
Don’t Let Your Career Cause Regrets in Your Personal Life
http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/02/dont-end-your-career-with-regrets-in-your-personal-life/


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23 comments:

  1. Unknown19 May 2014 at 20:08

    I think that idea for the topic is great, but to be honest I can’t say I enjoyed reading this presentation. Besides many typos, which makes it harder to read (which nowadays can be solved really quickly with many programs) I think you misunderstood two of those tips.

    First from “Be present” – “This is the most difficult part for me, as technology got mobile.” I don’t really get why this sentence is there (at the end). The author of the article meant not to treat members of the family as other workmates, but as people we love and care. Message is simple – be kind and loving for the people you look after, who are important for you. I have a feeling that you mixed the second advice with the first one – while you are with your family – concentrate on them and treat them as they deserve to. So if the order of the sentences were different:
    (While you are speNdIng time with the familY, you have to be fully present with your body and mind. This is the most difficult part for me, as technology got mobile. On the other hand you can't treat this time as a business meeting.), this would be clearer for sure.

    Second from “Don’t expect perfection in personal life.” – in the article it’s written that you shouldn’t expect perfection, buy try to get there. After a fail, you should improve something, aiming for the best, but be aware of possible defeat. Aspiration to be perfect isn’t something bad, if you are not pushing it too hard, but try to do your best for your family.

    I’m a little bit too young for those rules – I do not have my own family yet. I’m creating a big line between my job and private life and I always make sure, that I have time for myself to relax.

    I know it will be harsh, but in my opinion it’s not a very good presentation. The idea was great, but execution… Not really. Especially when you gave us source. Sorry for that, but I always want to be honest.

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  2. Agnieszka20 May 2014 at 10:47

    It's not an easy task to separate personal and business life.
    Last years I decided to give my whole life to my company. And it was done in purpose: I could travel a lot and perform a huge progress with my skills. Now it's time for a change. I have to get back my personal life.
    I heard once the best advice I could imagine in the mater how to do it: live in a way of 3x8. 8 hours of work, 8 hours of relax and 8 hours of sleep. I really would like to adapt this rule to my life. The only exception I can agree is more time for relax and less for a sleep but I will definitely try to keep the 8 hours for work :)

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    Replies
    1. Unknown21 May 2014 at 14:38

      Very nice breakdown "live in a way of 3x8. 8 hours of work, 8 hours of relax and 8 hours of sleep"
      But this is unfortunately just a theory.

      Delete
    2. Unknown22 May 2014 at 18:31

      @Agnieszka Thanks for the tip. I'll try to implement it.

      Delete
    3. kgajowy25 May 2014 at 12:46

      I suppose it is not possible - or I would like to hear how it can be done in practice. I cannot imagine relaxing for 8 hours after work, as there are too many responsibilities - cleaning house, making dinner, taking care of your childs (if any), going for essential shopping, mowing the lawn etc cetera (you got the point?) and I will not ever believe that all of the house-oriented actions can be turned into relax (sure, some of them why not - playing with childs, cooking (I love it!) mowing the law, shopping)

      Delete
  3. Paweł Stempień20 May 2014 at 21:52

    To achieve my work - school - life balance I had to find work which does not demand my full commitment and apply for a school which doesn't consume too much of my free time. However from my life experience I must admit that if I had found more demanding job I would have had bigger budget for my family. So definitely when I'm done with school I will get another job and will really need to get back to your post on how to keep my work-life balance :)

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  4. Krzysiek Zarzycki21 May 2014 at 14:14

    In my opinion, rather than try to seperate the two areas, it's better to focus on integratig them. Let's be honest - for most people nowadays professional development plays a very important role and we work much longer than 8 hours a day. We need to put much more effort (than in the past) in order to achieve success. In many cases one must do that at the expense of family and friends. This is why it is so important to learn to prioritize tasks and manage our time properly. There are many titles on how to improve our efficiency and restore the peace of mind. For the beginning, I recommend a short movie on time managament:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKOMTZ7PPLg
    It explains a simple technique called ABCDE. Moreover, I reccommend Brian Tracy's book "Eat That Frog" which contains simple tips on time management.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown22 May 2014 at 18:35

      Yeah I've read it some time ago. It's the basic staff to get through.

      Delete
    2. Krzysiek Zarzycki23 May 2014 at 00:34

      Mikołaj, are you interested in time management? Maybe you could reccommend some titles? I've heard about a useful method called GTD (Getting Things Done). I haven't explored this yet, but I'm going to do that soon.

      Delete
    3. kgajowy25 May 2014 at 12:49

      On the other hand I would recommend Kevin Hogan's book.

      http://onepress.pl/ksiazki/168-godzinny-tydzien-zyj-w-pelni-24-7-kevin-hogan,168tyd.htm

      I have not found all of these methods productive until some nice tips from this book which really helped me to become kind of a success ;)

      Delete
  5. Iza22 May 2014 at 13:45

    First of all if one want's to have personal life they must want to have it - otherwise it is impossible.

    I think I'm really successful in balancing private life and career.The most important for me is to work at work, it is impossible to do everything today, but I do my best to do as much as possible. Then I feel comfortable and without remorse, I can go home.

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    Replies
    1. Unknown22 May 2014 at 18:40

      You're right. We should do as many tasks as possible while at work. Sometimes we waste too much time during working hours and it has bad influence on our private time.

      Delete
  6. Samar Khanafer22 May 2014 at 21:30

    I don't like to give advice, but what I can offer on the subject is that often we forget ourselves and want to become superheroes.

    Being a superhero in this crazy fast and often hectic world is possible if you have the courage to draw upon the support of your family and friends. (And to always be there for them!)

    After coming back home it's time to lay down your Catwoman mask and give a warm hug to someone you love, enjoy your time together, and that with your friends, however little there may be of it. Listen and hear them out, comfort their heart with talk or with silence, go make a cup of tea, eat ice cream! Enjoy the little things in the luxury of your home-sweet-home!

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  7. Daniel L23 May 2014 at 11:00

    imho, work\life balance in modern western world is an individual choice of every person.
    In the end of the day - it's what makes you happy.
    Someone like to work 15 hours a day and be proud of his or her achievements.
    Someone like to work part time and spend the rest with family.
    There is no right or wrong way, only individual way.

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    Replies
    1. kgajowy25 May 2014 at 12:51

      I am sure this often a picking between career and private life... and choosing what is the most important for you (in other words, what would make you self-fulfillment in the long-term?)

      Delete
  8. Kasia S.23 May 2014 at 13:09

    Good tips, but sometimes hard to implement. But since I haven’t got anything better at hand, I’ll maybe use some of those :) I’ve got ambitious plans for my carrier and like many other people on this blog I both study and work. I can’t even imagine having additional responsibilities but I can’t always avoid them... I totally agree with being kind for family and yourself and not requiring perfectionism in the personal areas... On the other hand I think now (when we’re young adults, and most of us don’t yet have a family) it’s the time to work very hard and be more demanding towards ourselves. We of course need to be reasonable and rational, but maybe at this stage priorities in carrier should overweight the priorities in personal life... not forever, but at least until we’ve got our families...? I don’t know for sure – I’m still searching the answer to this question...

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  9. Unknown23 May 2014 at 20:35

    In the theory the division of private and professional life can seem very simple.
    But unfortunately in practice it is very difficult and it depends on the nature of every man and of his position in the company.
    Another downside for private life are such things as business phone, business laptop or a company car.
    This kind of things certainly prevent us from separating work and private life, and sometimes take us our private time.
    From my experience I know that having a business phone can spoil us with all our private matter and our provisions.
    I also believe that the higher position in the company the harder is to maintain the division between business and private life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mateusz Walesiak25 May 2014 at 14:55

    I'm gonna shout out the cliche - separate your work time from your free time. I was (and still am) shocked when i started my professional career and had seen or heard guys rambling about their assignments, meetings etc. well after the clock. Or sending e-mails on Friday at 11pm. I'm not even married and already it is hard for to comprehend their waste of free time. And many of these cases were not as necessary to be handled on Friday night.
    My assumption is that many guys' hobby is their job - and that's not a good thing, because at some point, one can feel jaded from their hobby (and ultimately - become stagnant, uneffective or simply unemployed).

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    Replies
    1. Iza25 May 2014 at 16:49

      Maybe they do not have anything better to do?

      Delete
  11. Unknown25 May 2014 at 20:14

    To be honest I have one tip. At the end of your shift – if I may call that way an agreement with your employer to work for 8h a day – turn off your computer, close any documents you have on your desk and go home. Nothing will disintegrate if you do that. No one will die etc. If you work as normal person – not in military, police, healthcare etc. your work is not so important. That piece of code that you need to do for tomorrow is not worth next few hours that you can spend with your family/friends. Your promotion will not occur faster if you do this for tomorrow. Relax and take care of things that you will not have a chance to do next time – first steps of your child, smile on your better half face, things that you can see only that day if you go home at normal time. I hope that this will help you in your work/life balance.

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  12. Mariusz Sz.25 May 2014 at 22:32

    Very interesting topic.
    How can you separate your business from personal matters? For example, if you expect your child and your wife has a aches - you have an important presentation at work before the heads? There is no way present its!

    Every day we deal with the problems which we do not want to bring to own work, but they affect on our facial expressions or the way the conversation.

    I don’t know any solution to separate the line these two worlds.
    Although I would like to try your advice; )

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  13. Unknown25 May 2014 at 23:35

    Only after finishing reading your post I’ve realized that I don’t have any problem with separating my work and personal life. It just comes to me naturally.

    In my opinion tips from your post are obvious and I am wondering if someone could find them helpful in achieving a good work-life separation. Probably they are good to start with.

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  14. Unknown25 May 2014 at 23:55

    First - I can not imagine living just a job. I have many interest that wants to pursue. I honestly do not need any outstanding careers. I'd be happy, and have sense of their lives. I can not imagine spending a whole day at work and devote everything I have around for a few pounds more.

    ReplyDelete

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