The idea of this topic crossed my mind during watching a TV series “Lie to me”. It made me think about the power, which you gain with knowledge (and practice) of body language. Than I thought “Wow, I wish I could read people, just like that”. It could be very useful in everyday life, especially that about 70% of our communication is a non-verbal communication (verbal communication is about 30%). An example? Relationships - women, who unfortunately hope that they don’t have to tell us, what they think and that we can come to that, what they mean (No, we can’t.) I believe that every man, who reads that, would agree with me, that this knowledge connected with skill of good observation could be very useful J
What are body language and micro expression?
Body language is a nonverbal, indirect communication, consisting of informations, which are send by your body. Basicly, whatever you’re doing (or doing nothing) - your every movement, gesture, glance, or even a twitch of a muscle on your cheek send some information about you, your feelings, desires, fears, etc. Micro expression is a reflection of our emotions on our faces – depending on which emotion we feel at the moment, we activate different facial muscles.
Detecting lies
Did you know that an average person lies about 3-4 times in 10 minutes of conversation?
Few weeks before, one of the articles was about the polygraph. It can be useful, but, as it was said, it’s not 100% effective. It made me wonder: What about human lie detector? Is it more reliable? Which lie detector is easier to cheat – a machine, or a human being?
Did you know that an average person lies about 3-4 times in 10 minutes of conversation?
Few weeks before, one of the articles was about the polygraph. It can be useful, but, as it was said, it’s not 100% effective. It made me wonder: What about human lie detector? Is it more reliable? Which lie detector is easier to cheat – a machine, or a human being?
Examples of lying:
- scratching the nose
- muting tone / hand covering mouth - as if he/she doesn’t want to be heard
- avoiding eye contact / unnaturally prolonged eye contact
- shaking (lifting) arm
- saying “yes”, but nodding “no” / saying “no”, but nodding “yes”
- avoiding admitting to not remembering something, to look more reliable (honest person has no reason to do that )
How to verify the truth:
- scratching the nose
- muting tone / hand covering mouth - as if he/she doesn’t want to be heard
- avoiding eye contact / unnaturally prolonged eye contact
- shaking (lifting) arm
- saying “yes”, but nodding “no” / saying “no”, but nodding “yes”
- avoiding admitting to not remembering something, to look more reliable (honest person has no reason to do that )
How to verify the truth:
Tell your
interlocutor to repeat his story, but reversing the order of it (from the end
to the beginning). Person, who was telling the truth shouldn’t have any
problems with that, but lier will have difficulties with performing the task.
“Lie to me”
The motto of this TV series is “The truth is written all over our faces” – it introduce us to the world of “Lightman group”, whose job it is to find the truth working on other people's orders, including the FBI, the police, or even the president. To achieve the goal, by which I mean getting the truth, they use their knowledge of body language and micro expression. This knowledge allows them not only to “read” the emotions of others, but also makes them human lie detectors.
“Lie to me”
The motto of this TV series is “The truth is written all over our faces” – it introduce us to the world of “Lightman group”, whose job it is to find the truth working on other people's orders, including the FBI, the police, or even the president. To achieve the goal, by which I mean getting the truth, they use their knowledge of body language and micro expression. This knowledge allows them not only to “read” the emotions of others, but also makes them human lie detectors.
Here you can watch a trailer of “Lie to me”
Questions:
1. For what would you rather use this knowledge: to detect lies and protect yourself from liers, or maybe - to become a better lier? J
2. Do you see any other ways of using this techniques and knowledge in everyday life (career, business etc.)?
3. Have you ever had a feeling that somebody is lying to you (I’m sure you all had!) ? If yes, try to recall more details of that situation – why do you think this person was lying, did his/her body language told you that (and how)?
4. Ria Torres, one of the TV series characters, has a natural talent for detecting lies. Do you find it as a bless or a curse? Just think about it: Yes, you can get the truth from your boss, if he’s ever going to promote you, or not. Yes, you can use this talent to get rich, for example by playing poker at casinos. BUT: You may also become aware of how often people lie to you, which can be really depressing, considering the fact, that people tell about 3-4 lies in 10 minutes of conversation.
1. For what would you rather use this knowledge: to detect lies and protect yourself from liers, or maybe - to become a better lier? J
2. Do you see any other ways of using this techniques and knowledge in everyday life (career, business etc.)?
3. Have you ever had a feeling that somebody is lying to you (I’m sure you all had!) ? If yes, try to recall more details of that situation – why do you think this person was lying, did his/her body language told you that (and how)?
4. Ria Torres, one of the TV series characters, has a natural talent for detecting lies. Do you find it as a bless or a curse? Just think about it: Yes, you can get the truth from your boss, if he’s ever going to promote you, or not. Yes, you can use this talent to get rich, for example by playing poker at casinos. BUT: You may also become aware of how often people lie to you, which can be really depressing, considering the fact, that people tell about 3-4 lies in 10 minutes of conversation.
First of all I must say this is the best article of all three (posted by you).
ReplyDeletePersonally I would rather detect lies than become a better liar. It would help me in everyday life – at work, in personal life or in basic human relations. I’m aware that it could cause me much pain, but I believe that “The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie”. I ask the closest to me to always be honest and direct, because it helps to solve many problems. I think that we will always learn the truth one way or another, so it’s better to come clean as soon as possible. I do not believe in “white lies” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT-Pb2LxgnU)
Of course sometimes a little lie would help, but as I said before, it better to be sincere (not that much http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHHwf7eAH0I) and it will be appreciated. The key is to say the truth in a proper, not offensive way and everything will be fine.
And have I ever seen someone lying? With this tutorial I know what to look at! http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/224680/youll-have-to-learn-how-to-lie-correctly-someday
:)
And women's favourite lie:
Deletehttp://themetapicture.com/everything-ok/
Hahaha, I agree with u completely if it goes to women's favourite lie (and the most annoying for us I think) :) and I also agree about being direct
DeleteThat's a good one. I also like it :)
DeleteThe first question is quite controversial. I don’t think anyone chose the second option’ to become a better lier’ at least at forum. My answer– to detect lies and protect myself - of course. As far as I can detect a lie, I will not protect before it. If someone wants to deliberately lie - will be.
ReplyDeleteAs regards the body language reading - these techniques are widely used. By learning them we can read other people's emotions. Body language typically includes non-verbal messages, as gestures and body movements, facial expressions, posture and body orientation, eye movements and others. To do well in a business meeting, in addition to the knowledge communicated in words, we should also know the knowledge on gestures.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VhnaVkC7Nc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-eC2QQ-nSM
This will allow us to make a good impression at the outset. The first impression is one of the strongest factors influencing on our perception of other people. It takes four to six seconds. In this short time, we value the other person by pinning suitable labels, for example: "I like him", "He’s credible". This knowledge will enable us to respond quickly in cases where the meeting is not going in the right direction.
Have I ever had a feeling that somebody is lying to me. Yes. Unfortunately I can’t remember more details of that situation. My confidence stemmed from the contradiction verbal communication with non-verbal message. Not always need to know the body language to just feel it.
The fact, that people tell about 3-4 lies in 10 minutes of conversation it’s really depressing indeed.
Yes, you're right, we make our judgements about other people very quickly. I think that it's happening even faster, than u said.
DeleteIf it goes to lies and body language - accept signs of lying, which we can SEE, there are also some signs, that we can HEAR - for example person who lies about some story will use less words and details, than the honest one. So not only body language, but also our language change during lying.
It would be great to always know when someone lies to you... And being able to lie perfectly may also be very useful (but can I promise I would use it rarely). “Lie to me” is a very interesting TV series, even though I’m not a big fan of movies about police and their investigations... If however what they say in trailer is true and you could lear some of the tricks (or at least be aware of them) to identify a lier, I’d like to see few episodes.
ReplyDeleteThis topic also reminds me about art and scientific projects I’ve seen. Based on our face motions a machine/algorithm tried to figured out state of peoples emotions orin other project artificial face was trying to express human emotions... Maybe in the nearest feature such function will be added e.g. to Google Glass – and looking and someone you’ll not only know who she/he is (facial recognition) but also how she/he feels (emotion recognition).. And taking the example you gave at the beginning – your woman will be like an open book for you... The future seams to be a bit scary! ;)
Kasia, why do you think that future like that would be scary – you could not lie or everyone would know about that. You and everyone else would need to say even the ugliest truth. This is ideal life conditions for me. I see when someone is lying to me and I don’t like when they do it and think that I cannot determine this. If you like I can explain some of things that our body does when we try to tell a lie :)
DeleteKasia, I'm glad that I interested you with "Lie to me" and I recommend to see it :)
DeleteSławomir, I have to agree on this with Kasia - it is scary. I'm not saying that lying is good, however everybody have right for privacy or a little secret. I mean I wouldn't like to share everything with everyobody. Would you? What would happen with all the mystery than? Solving puzzles can be fun.
This is very confusing subject. I have a friend who is really, really good in a matter of body language. I could see many times how powerful it is. He used it to get a job he wanted to have or to draw attention of the girl he liked. But on the other hand we can't treat it 100% serious - I noticed sometimes I do some things but it is not related with other person - like for example I do "I'm not interested in you" thing with my hands just simply... becuase I feel cold.
ReplyDeleteI believe in this area it is good to be reasonable and have some distance. We can't be always suspicious just because someone have done something with his eye, touched the ear or put his hand in a strange way. But also we can't be fairly trustful, I believe common sense is here important as usual.
there is never too much of common sense :)
DeleteI actually tried to watch "Lie to me" but after seeing the first episode I found the series to be naive and annoying and dropper the whole thing. So I cannot comment on what's happening in the series, but I can definitely comment on people and their laying.
ReplyDeleteIt might be unusual, but I don't lie - almost never. I have a really hard time keeping truth hidden inside and most of the time I don't even try to do it. For the long time I thought my behavior is quite normal and generally people don't lie. That's why I was always really touched and maybe even shocked when I realized someone has lied to me. Nowadays I pay attention to what and how people say, especially hearing if the tone of their voice is right and if they're looking at me with "honest" face impression. It's not that hard to see if someone's not telling the truth - especially when you're paying close attention. But I would like to be better at it, so no-one could ambush me with their lie again.
It's not that hard to see if someone's not telling the truth - especially when you're paying close attention. - we should be jealous than, if it's not a big problem for you to detect lie! :) I got your point - paying attention. But the truth is, that in everyday life, in normal conversation we are usually to occuppy with emotions and with content of the conversation, to "read" people at the same time. It is said, that if you know someone and especially if he/she is close to you, it's much harder to detect his/herlies, than lie of a stranger (because of emotions).
DeleteAt the beginning I would like to thank you for your guide to reading body language. It will be useful for me to detect lies of course! So, we should be careful our bodies shape who we are!
ReplyDeleteBody language is also very significant to relationship outside of work, for example in dating and parenting. A mother who knows her child well, she will be able to detect child’s lies.
The trailer of Lie to me which you added in your article seems to be very interesting and you encourage me to watch this.
I love "Lie to me"! I'm so sad that they ended the series after two seasons.. I really liked watching whole Lightman team searching for various micro expressions and analyzing body language.
ReplyDeleteI really cannot believe in 3-4 lies in 10 minutes. I don't want to believe in it. It makes all my future conversations full of suspicions..
And as a woman I have to add that the problem you mentioned in your post - about women laying and not telling what bothers them.. It's not true, guys! It's all in your heads. Relationships between people are always complicated - you do very same things:)
ReplyDeleteI think I would use that kind of knowledge to recognize other liars, not to level up my lying skill. Answering the last question - Cypher from "Matrix" once said: ignorance is bliss. And for a moment I was going to agree with this statement - sometimes it's better to not know, especially when the liar is someone close to you. On second thought - I want to know. To know - isn't it an innate desire of all human beings?
ReplyDelete